Quote of the Week

Still, there's something hypnotic about it. For men, it's like cleavage; we've seen acres of it, but that doesn't stop us from looking again. It's part instinct, part the lure of the unattainable and part the hope that we'll see something spectacular.
- Chris Ballard, Sports Illustrated Author on the DUNK

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The 12 Weeks of Cowboys by West Coast O

It is Christmas season again, and my favorite team has me feeling like I’m a kid on Christmas morning. The Dallas Cowboys are 11-1 through 12 weeks this season and I’m as giddy as a crotchet enthusiast at the world’s biggest ball of yarn. So what better way to celebrate Christmas and 12 weeks of the NFL season than with my very own Cowboys Christmas Carol?

I have had several inquiries from family and friends on when exactly I would write something regarding my beloved Cowboys, but like any healthily superstitious sports fan, I did not want to risk sabotaging my team’s success. However, my previous blog about the Cleveland Indians propelled them to a game away from the World Series title and in light of the fact that I am couching this blog using song, the story surrounding the birth of Jesus, and the Lord’s Team (note hole in the roof of Texas Stadium for His viewing pleasure.), I thought I would be safe to broach the subject of the Dallas Cowboys (if not slightly sacrilegious).

So, without further ado, I am introducing you all to my very own Cowboys Christmas Carol: The Twelve Weeks of Cowboys. This comes complete with an explanation of each day followed by the sing-a-long lyrics below. Enjoy and feel free to make it your new Christmas tradition…

On the __ week of football, my Cowboys gave to me…

1st – A Romo Passing TD

Romo has already surpassed the great Cowboys quarterbacks of Meredith, Staubach, White, and Aikman to set the new single season touchdown record. He has currently thrown 38 touchdowns this year!

2ndTwo Running Backs

Like many NFL teams this year, the Dallas Cowboys run a two-back system with Julius Jones and Marion Barber. Julius is the flash and has the Notre Dame pedigree; while Marion Barber runs so hard he has earned the nickname Marion the Barbarian and has quickly become maybe my favorite Dallas Cowboy on this team.

3rd – Three Folk Points

Finally, the Cowboys have a good kicker. We Cowboy fans once took this for granted. Now, we are relieved to have a reliable, stud kicker back there that leads all kickers in Fantasy Football scoring (yes, he is on my fantasy team).

4th – Fourmer Philly Bird

Okay, a bit of a play on words, but this references former Philadelphia Eagle Terrell Owens. After he desecrated the Star when playing with the 49ers, I vowed to always despise him. When the Cowboys signed him I said I would not cheer specifically for him. I gotta tell you, it’s hard not to when you watch the plays he has made this year.

5th – Five Super Bowl Rings

Yep, when we add our 6th this year, we will lead NFL franchises in most Super Bowls won!

6th – Six Blockers Blocking

This refers to the real MVPs of our offense: Andre Gurode (C), Kyle Kosier (LG), Leonard Davis (RG), Flozell Adams (LT), Marc Columbo (RT), and Jason Witten (TE)

7th – Seven Points-a-Scoring

The Cowboys have scored an NFC leading 48 touchdowns so far this season

8th – Eight, wait that was Aikman…

The number 8 will forever be linked for me to my boy idol Troy Aikman, who is currently the best commentator in the NFL and has done several Cowboys broadcasts this year.

9th – Nine, now that’s Romo!

The franchise-quarterback torch has been passed from Aikman to Romo. How can you not love this kid? Certainly Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood, and Brittney Spears can’t.

10th – Ten sacks by Ellis

Despite only playing in 9 of our 12 games this year, our most seasoned veteran and silent leader of the Cowboys, Greg Ellis has a team leading 10 sacks. Demarcus Ware could also be inserted here as he has 10 as well. I love the blitzing, turnover-prone Wade Phillips defense.

11th – Eleven Wins and Counting

That’s right. We lead the NFC with the best record and if not for those annoying Patriots, we’d be undefeated.

12th – Twelfth Man, that’s the Fans!

Granted, the bandwagon fans are turning out by the droves again this year. But this goes to the true-blue Cowboy fans that invest their emotional, physical, and spiritual faculties to support the success of our team week in and week out. Cowboys fans unite!


Sing-a-long Song Lyrics:

The song is cumulative with each verse building and repeating until the conclusion. It sings exactly like the popular Christmas Carol “The 12 Days of Christmas” except the lyrics are obviously pertaining to the Cowboys. I have also substituted “my true love” with “the Cowboys”, which are synonymous anyhow. Remember, the only way to spread Christmas (or Cowboy) cheer, is to sing out loud for all to hear…

First Verse:

On the first week of football my Cowboys gave to me

A Romo Passing TD

Second Verse:

On the second week of football my Cowboys gave to me

2 Running Backs,

And a Romo passing TD

…and so forth until the last verse:

On the twelfth week of football my Cowboys gave to me

Twelfth man, that’s the fans!,

Eleven wins and counting,

Ten sacks by Ellis,

Nine, now that’s Romo!,

Eight, wait that’s Aikman…,

Seven points-a-scoring,

Six blockers blocking,

Five Super Bowl Rings…,

Fourmer Philly bird,

Three Folk points,

Two Running backs,

And a Romo passing TD

GO COWBOYS!!!

All Photos from: dallascowboys.com, except Ainkman is form cnnsi.com

2 comments:

Ryan said...

How could you leave Nate Newton's 213 lbs. of weed out of the song?

jerome walton said...

i mean Josh, I'm sorry but I had to comment after you jinxed your team by writing about them the day they lose to the Jessica Simpson-led Philadelphia Eagles.

As defending champion (and apparently the only person who even registered an attempt) I am going to take a shot at Kobe Bryant, best player in the NBA, to Alex Rodricguez, best player in MLB.

Kobe had a little issue with a blonde in Colorado and I know A-Rod was spotted this season was a mysterious blonde but I am just going to assume they were different blondes and move on...

here we go...

Alex Rodricguez (1) just signed with Guy Oseary's (2) management company. Guy Oseary is head of Maverick Records which was formed by Madonna (3) who famously dated Dennis Rodman (4) in the 90s. Rodman had a short stint in the late 90s with the Los Angeles Lakers where he played with one Kobe Bean Bryant (5).

-josh c